The hair on the head of the sun god reads only memory

I like ROM. Traditionally, you can program him only once and he'll do what he's been told to do. So the Egyptian sun God instructed him to be creative and make movies - which is a very generic instruction open to multiple misinterpretations. When he was young, ROM made ads - real good ones at that. Or at least that's what I'm told - I mean, I don't remember any, since back then I didn't really Google or Wiki for every bit of information, on account of not having access to the internet. And by the time I got a connection, ROM had moved on - to directing AB in the ridiculous 'Aby Baby' rap song's video.

Of course I would like to believe that ROM followed the instructions given to him by his maker to the T, given that I'm quite a big fan of his latest couple of feature-length films. (Yes, somewhere down the line, God did a firmware upgrade and came up with modified versions of ROM which can be electrically erased and re-programmed. So ROM moved on from making ads to music videos, then documentaries and finally feature films). My opinion about his debut feature, though, is drastically different. In my opinion, 'Aks' was one of the most cruel jokes played on the human race (I have been told that 'No Smoking' surpasses it by miles, but that's just hearsay - I wasn't going to let myself become a prey all over again). From what was seemingly a slick albeit plagiarised ('Face/Off') thriller hitherto unseen in India (admittedly, the slickness was maintained throughout the film's duration), it suddenly decided to wander off into some supernatural dirt road after leading the audience down an ultra high-speed expressway. Also inexcusable was the casting - Nandita Das opposite Bachchan? Oh please spare me. The only saving grace for me was that I saw it on TV and didn't actually spend my dad's hard-earned money to go watch it in a theatre. It was such a disaster that ROM was forced to ask himself 'why?' (and in the process add a 'y') and ran to pa for counseling (also making use of pa's name).

The measures worked, and we got 2 consecutive films based in Delhi - one, a larger-than-life stylistic rip-off of the awesome 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid' (think sepia tone and freeze-frame climax); the other, a look at all the evils of a conservative society from the heights of an ultra-modernity. Now let me make one thing clear - I just enjoy watching these two, but it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with ROM. And from a purely critic's point of view, while RDB scores, Delhi-6 does not. From the perspective of an average member of the audience though, the feel always manages to hit the sweet spot - and that includes the lingo, the look, the now-standard set of actors, characters and team members. But it's not all good.

First, the bad news
So ROM happens to be from an ad-making background and as such, his creativity and vision are hailed. But on most occasions, such lavish praise is unwarranted. Take for example the similarities between RDB and D6 - the corrupt cop who speaks with a Jat twang (all of Delhi police is like that? Really? Ever heard of one Kiran Bedi?), the ruthless politicians (this isn't ROM's problem alone - the whole of Bollywood thinks that anything to do with politics is pure evil while they themselves are holier than thou) and death (plenty of it, be it the entire cast of RDB and that too twice, or the constant references of Waheeda's morbid preparation and Abhishek's near-death experience - all typical of pseudo-art-filmmakers).

Next, the ability of ROM (which is representative of the industry in general) of climbing to and sitting on a high perch and passing comments on the conservative society below. Please don't talk about how the biggest stars are Muslims, how everyone is from different parts of the country and belongs to different strata of society; please don't comment on "malpractices" such as arranged marriage, blind faith in a higher power, etc. because confined in your air-conditioned luxury while residing and plying your trade in the poshest localities of the country, you haven't lived that life in years (and if you happen to be 'star kids', you haven't ever). It's easy to be liberal, secular et al when you have fame, wealth and power on your side.

And finally, you don't make art films (since they are commercial films which are easy to watch appealing to the mainstream as opposed to a select few), so don't pretend to be an art filmmaker. Neither can your films be classified as indie (since they are big-budget ventures being financed by the big production houses or their faux indie wings), so don't live under the pretence of being an independent filmmaker. And since we are clear on those two counts, take some lessons from the real masters and more importantly, do some proper research, next time you try and make a 'thought-provoking' film.

Now, the good news
If you put all the pretence on the back-burner and just enjoy the films in the conventional sense, you will hardly find any reason to complain. Strip them of all the social commentary, and what you have are films which are miles ahead of the typical brainless commercial fare. They are beautifully shot, feature exquisite music and lyrics, are peppered with memorable dialogues and with the odd exception of a repulsively accented Abhishek, showcase some great acting.

While the song picturization was good in both, the usage was top-notch in RDB while it fell flat by the lack of situation in D6. But as far as the music albums go, there can be no complaints from either the lyricist Prasoon Joshi (another ad-maker by the way) or composer AR Rahman, or any of the singers. The dialogues and the dialect were just perfect in RDB; they left a bit to be desired in D6 but nevertheless included some gems esp. from Ali Baig (Rishi Kapoor is so much better as an old man than he was as the chocolate boy of the 80s). The emotional quotient was well played up in both - the difference being that in RDB, you could feel the vice-like grip which grabbed hold of you and shook you by the shoulders, whereas in D6, you could feel that you have the option of detaching yourself whenever you feel like.

And finally, the acting. A word about the casting first - with the possible exception of Abhishek, inch-perfect. If you forget the fact that it's Aamir Khan, you could actually believe that DJ was a late-20s vagabond; Sharman, Kunal, Siddharth and Soha, all perfect, as were the menacing Mohan Agashe and Anupam Kher. On to D6, and it was a welcome relief to see Prem Chopra, Om Puri, Pawan Malhotra and Vijay Raaz. Sonam, though, for all her good looks and charming smiles, needs to work on her dialogue delivery. The best character of D6 was, in my opinion, the halwai Mamdu (Deepak Dobriyal), a Hanuman bhakt who is shattered by the communal riots to such an extent that he becomes a fundamentalist.

But the best part is what is fast turning out to be ROM's core team of actors. KK Raina switched sides - the staunch Hindu politician became a Muslim fanatic. Atul Kulkarni put on some weight and shaved off his moustache to transform himself from the idealistic patriot Laxman to the dimwit wiseman Gobar. Cyrus Sahukar went from being a freeloading struggler to a selfish, knee-deep-in-debt photographer. No prizes, though, for guessing who takes the cake. Waheeda Rehman is as graceful as she was half a century back in Pyaasa.

In a nutshell
I endorse ROM - and one of these days, my endorsement will matter. I hope. Reviews later.